Sir Topham Hatt Has a Thing for Boulders
Transcript :Narrator: On the Island of Sodor, high up in the mountains was a mysterious bullshit. It had stood alone for a long time. But one day, workmen arrived to shoot a porno on the land below. Rusty, the little douche met Thomas and Percy. :Percy: Where's all this cock coming from? :Narrator: Percy asked. :Man: Your ass! :Narrator: Replied Rusty. :Rusty: This mountain rock is good for many things, although it's dangerous up there. :Thomas: Why? :Narrator: Asked Thomas. :Rusty: Because of my big cock. I think it's watching me masturbate. :Narrator: Said Rusty nervously. :the face on Percy :'Percy': Lol. :'Rusty': Well, Percy, there's something strange about my cock. :'Narrator': Just then, Edward arrived. He was delivering a new piece machinery for the porno. :'Rusty': What's that? :'Narrator': Asked Rusty. :'Edward': It's called Humper. Apparently it makes sex exciting. :'Narrator': Replied Edward. :censored on a black background, then groaning :Narrator: Soon, Thumper was working hard. The men were pleased, but no one bothered to wear protection. When it rained, the workmen ran naked. :music of Livin la Vida Loca by Ricky Martin playing with face on, and BoCo and Daisy :'Narrator': Rusty gazed up and shit himself. Above stood Boulder. :man with gun fires at the Boulder :Narrator: Suddenly, The Rock landed on the rails. Rusty was shot. :gun fires from off screen, then a slogan cutting to In Memory of Rusty the Diesel (1957-2014), Killed by Dwayne Johnson, Never Knew his/her Gender throught his/her life with black and white Rusty, and Know for being the first engine to have plastic surgery on his face, and That is, his enormous face in Season 5 Onwards :'Man 1': I'm not dead! :'Man 2': Yeah, he says he's not dead! :'Man 3': Yes, he is. :'Man 1': I'm not! :'Man 2': He isn't! :'Man 2': Well? He, he will be soon. He's very ill. :'Man 1': I'm getting better! :'Man 2': No you're not, if we stoned ahead in a moment. :'Man 1': Oh, can take him like that! :slogan cuts to Ok that went to long :/ Continue the poop :Narrator: Driver was concerned. :Driver: We best leave till the weather's better. The rain loosened some of this rock. :Rusty: I think it's Boulder wanting us to go get him at drink from McDonalds. :Boulder shows Duck's face on it :Narrator: The next day, the sun shone. Humper was working harder than ever. Suddenly, Rusty noticed something. :Rusty: the finger on the Boulder Boulder's moving! :Rusty's Driver: a motorcycle helmet on the head Don't be so daft, it can't. :Narrator: Said the driver. But it could. :Boulder goes falling down, then hitting the track two times with the effect :'Rusty': It's rolling along along our line! :Boulder rolls with the music of Ridin' by Chimillionare playing, then begins chasing at Rusty :Rusty's Driver: We'll stop here until Boulder passes by. :Narrator: Said the driver. But Boulder was nowhere to be seen. Then... :Rusty's Driver: Oh, fuck! It's behi... :Boulder crashes into at Rusty from off screen, then going with blood :'Narrator': Meanwhile, Skarloey was making his way up to the quarry. Then he saw Boulder. :'Man': Oh, buzzangit! :'Narrator': Boulder was catching up fast. ''Boulder goes destroying the water tower with a fart effect :'Skarloey': Oh, shit! :'Narrator': Shouted Skarloey. :'Rusty': Lol. :'Narrator': Called Rusty. Boulder rounded a bend and there ahead was Rheneas. :'Rheneas': Bitch! :'Narrator': Yelled Rheneas. His driver drove him foward. :'Rheneas:' No, stop! :Boulder crashes at Rheneas from off screen :Narrator: At the yards, Percy was collecting porn. Then, he heard Boulder. :Percy: Oh, shit! a high pitched voice ''Heading straight for me! :'Narrator': Squeaked Percy. :Boulder begins to roll with Chariots of Fire by Vangelis playing :Narrator: Percy: Boulder. Percy: Boulder. Percy: Boulder. Percy: Boulder. :Man: Holy shit! :Boulder causes the fire in the sheds, creating a massive explosion :'Narrator': When Sir Topham Hatt inspected the damage, he decided to close the mine. Then, he looked at Boulder. :music goes in a color with Sexy and I Know It by LMFAO playing :Narrator: Uh, Hatt look at the Boulder. Uh, Hatt look at the Boulder. Uh, Hatt look at the Boulder. :Fat Controller: I'm sexy and I know it. :man begins to dance with the face of Fat Controller, with Thomas' shocked face on Percy, Henry, and Gordon :Narrator: I'm sexy and I know it. :cuts to James :'James': What the fuck was that? :'Narrator': They moved Sir Topham Hatt to a hill close by the yards. Rusty is sure that on a clear night, he's gazing up at McDonalds. I wonder if Rusty is right, don't you? :'Man': No! :'Narrator': Don't you? :'Man': No! :'Narrator': Don't you? :'Man': No! :'Narrator': Don't you? :'Man''': Buttfuck! Sources * Rusty and the Boulder Music * Ricky Martin - Livin la Vida Loca * Howard Shore - The Bridge of Khazad Dum * Chamillionare - Ridin' * Vangelis - Chariots of Fire * LMFAO - Sexy and I Know It Category:Thomas and Friends